The Ensuing Battle
To surrender or give up?
Neither one of these are particularly attractive. In each case that which we wanted is given over to something else; another way, an outside force, a different ideal. We would rather die than surrender and our American work ethic tells us that we cannot give up. And so we do what most people do when faced with the prospect of surrender or giving up…
We fight.
Opposing armies fight, political parties fight, spouses fight, kids fight, co-workers fight. We fight for our voice to be heard, our ideas to be understood, and for our dreams to be fulfilled. We fight because we believe our way is worth subscribing to; a way worth living.
When we believe something is “worth fighting for” lines are drawn, elbows are thrown, and the battle ensues. And it rages on until someone gives up, gives over, surrenders or is destroyed.
While commentary could be made of the many battles going on in the world around us, I’m wondering about the battle that is raging within you. The battle no one sees because each day you dutifully report to the expectations placed on you. The battle between:
Who others say you are vs. Who you think you are.
What you do vs. What you wish you could do.
Where you are vs. Where you wish you were.
This battle is exhausting. It takes no prisoners. It leaves one scattered; a displacement of self with no home in sight. We fight because we long for a better way. We fight because we can’t imagine surrendering and resigning ourselves to status-quo-living for the rest of our life. But I’m not sure that this fight will bring the resolve we long for.
This is the endless fight of the prove-yourself-merry-go-round. Maybe it’s time you simply stop.
Fighting.
Perhaps this is what Jesus was getting at when he said, “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.”
Maybe instead of training to fight, it's time you practice letting go.
